


This Ledge I'm On

by navelgazer



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: It's kind of unrequited so sorry abt that, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:28:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27699665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navelgazer/pseuds/navelgazer
Summary: Tommy Armitage thinks about his relationship with Tozer, with a small detour at George Chambers.
Relationships: Thomas Armitage/Sgt Solomon Tozer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	This Ledge I'm On

Armitage feels stupid, mooning over Tozer like he does. Mooning over _Sol_. He feels like stupid Georgie Chambers, who even over on Terror has a reputation for getting mashed onto to any man that'll pay attention to him for a minute.

For Chambers, it goes like this: First, he and David Young, God rest his soul, had followed around Tom Hartnell after he'd been kind to Young when they were joining up. Then, when John Hartnell had died and Tom had gotten sullen and sad, Chambers had moved on from Erebus' own omen of death to kindly old Mr. Bridgens, who'd started teaching some of the others tars their letters.

Armitage can at least sort of understand this. Everybody knows Bridgens is a sodomite, so at least Georgie is barking up the right tree. He's kind, too, shows none of the bitter, desperate jealousy of Hoar that Gibson has for Jopson. But, Christ, he's old, in his fifties at least, and the gossip running through the expedition is that he's got a much younger lover, though nobody is quite sure who it is.

It's not Chambers, in any case, who, after a polite rejection from Mr. Bridgens, had moved on in his affections to Mr. Goodsir, then to Sgt. Bryant, and finally to young Charles Best, where they seemed to have stayed for the time being.

It's not like this for Armitage. Like Georgie, it's always been men, sure, but they've always been Marines. He'd grown up near a dockyard, grown up watching Marines in their smart red coats, grown up cursing his dumb ear for preventing him from joining them.

He signs up to get to sea any way he can, the sea and the Marines in his blood after all those years at the docks. In between his duties he watches them do their exercises, go on the watches he's exempt from.

But from the moment he saw him, it's been Tozer who's primarily preoccupied his thoughts. His sandy brown hair, his nose, his eyes- he gets weak in the knees and pink in the face if he dwells for too long. And what's worse- Tozer likes him. Likes him enough to call him "Tommy" in a tone he doesn't often use with his men. Likes him enough, even, to tell him about his wife, who died last year. Consumption.

And that's the long and short of it. He's mashed on a man who isn't touched by the same sin as Tommy is, fondly reminiscing on doxies as he does. But he's too kind to let Tommy's affections waver. So Tommy will keep thinking of him, keep bringing him dregs of ale from the gunroom, keep mending the holes in his shirts. He'd follow Sol to the ends of the earth if he asked. He has a feeling, on this expedition, he might.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by the "high school lesbian hopelessly devoted to her straight best friend" vibes Armitage has going on. Of course, I also owe a lot to many different posts on Tumblr and Twitter about this show, too.   
> The title is from First Love/Late Spring by Mitski, which is to me very reminiscent of Armitage's painful devotion (which ultimately causes him to lose his own life).  
> If you want a laugh go take another look at how I describe Tozer physically through Armitage's eyes. I had to stare at a picture of him for a minute and think about what people think is attractive about men, lol.  
> Also, I haven't done much research on idioms or vocabulary of the time so if something is anachronistic, please do your best to ignore it. I wrote this in a fit of inspiration at 3:00 a.m. last night.   
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed and would love a comment, even if it's just to let me know there's a typo somewhere, which I'm sure there is. You can feel free to send me an ask on Tumblr @femalehomoeroticism. I'm always happy to talk about Armitage or about all of my stupid Chambers headcanons. Thanks for reading!


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